Look good play good.
Everyone and their mother’s sister knows that 50% of the
battle in playing sports is the uniform. Lets be honest, You’re not dunking
that ball, hitting that homer or scoring that game winning shot if you don’t
have fresh threads on your body. I’ve gathered the top 10 most player hatting,
lady loving uniforms in all sports. Ladies see these gems of uniforms and loose
their cool, Gentlemen forfeit the game before it even starts when they get one
glance at these gameday unis. Without any further ado here are the top 10 most player-hatting
lady loving uniform.
The 1976 Chicago White Sox:
who wears short shorts? We wear short shorts.
Ladies threw themselves at these white sock wearing south
side gentlemen after one look at these shorts. I mean look at those legs what a
better way to show off your lower half then at a professional baseball game
right? Needless to say these daisy duke Uniforms were only worn once and what
was their record while wearing them you may ask yourself? 1-0. Coincidence? I
think not. More room for your legs to run and breath…bring them back? I think
yes.
The 1976-1995 Tampa Bay
Buccaneers: Orange you glad I didn’t say Orange?
Let’s be honest if you weren’t wearing these uniforms you
were not a true “player hater” you also were not going to have any luck with
the females. Nothing says swagged out like a fresh pumpkin suit. I mean my
favorite power rager was the orange one….there was a orange power ranger wasn’t
there? Anyway these jerseys had a collective record of 0-26 in their first 26
games but hey…when you look that good records aren’t the only thing that
matters. Right?
The 1999 Pittsburg Pirates:
Argg me matey lets go steal a base…
Wow. Not much to say about this one. Nothing catches the
ladies eye’s like a big pirate on your chest…haters love to hate on these
players.
The 2011 Missouri Lacrosse
Pinnies.
What self-respecting lady could deny any southern gentlemen
in one of these dandies. Repping well with Truman on the front chillin on his
spoon while having tiger print all up and down the back with a little MIZ ZOU
love on the bottom. Not to mention these lady stealing lax suits are also
reversible, suitable for any style with an oppo white side. Ladies and germs
black or white these pinnies got you feelin alright. Side note…that’s my
brother…he doe not have a ton of swag…but when he puts on these electric
uniforms he’s got more swag than Broadway Joe himself.
2010 Chicago Blackhawks:
Camouflage; America’s Away Jerseys.
‘MERICA. I’ll be honest I’m a little bias because there are
tons of teams that respect the United States Military, as they should, but I
chose my Chicago Blackhawks. These Jerseys bring America pride with their
Digitech camo, denying any team who thinks that they could just waltz right
into the Madhouse on Madison and not loose their hearing after 25,000
Chicagoans scream their heads off during the national anthem. Sung by none
other than Americas finest Jim Cornilson. I mean after all ‘merica.
CAMO (cont.) The Late Great
Dan Wheldon
Dan Wheldon was one of the greatest, funniest, nicest Indy
Car drivers who tragically lost his life in a 2012 race in Las Vegas. He was a
two time Indy 500 Champ and numerous other race winner. He was also knows for
his sick flow and humor with other drivers in his series. He too repped the
camo and Merica’s National Guard. While racing for the Panther Racing National
Guard team he had a full out camo DiGitech fire suit…that along with his flow
pulled the ladies more than any other driver on the circuit. 
1992 Dream Team: USA…90’s
swag.
Jordan, Magic, Pippen, Ewing, Laettner, Robinson, Bird,
Drexler, Malone, Stockton, Mullin, and Barkley is that all I even need to say?
Not to mention they brought the pain every single game and went hard in the paint
before Waka was even a teenager. The Dream Team proclaimed gold before they
stepped foot on the plain to take them to Spain. 11 Hall of famers on one team
repping the good ole U S of A. These short short wearing USA cheering monsters
of the game made every other team they played wish there was a slaughter rule
in basketball.
The 1986 Houston
Astros…Shirsey Sunrise?
The Houston Astros have not only had decently mediocre
seasons over the last decades but more mediocre uniforms. The different shade
of orange on their chest made a new meaning as to why you should wear
sunglasses during the game of baseball…now all the hate beside, these jerseys
pulled more females than Nolan Ryan’s curve ball. Granted they had them for
quite sometime before stepping into the modern world and getting regular
looking jerseys they still in fact player hated with these retro threads on for
almost 2 decades. Not to mention that, although I love my white sox and Robin
Ventura is a great manager, Nolan Ryan showed the world that he could not only
throw a solid fast ball but a solid hook as well.
The Green Bay Packers:
Throwback 2012.
Nothing says come get me ladies like a brown helmet, blue
jersey with a yellow dot that shows their number and light brown pants. These
jerseys had the babes coming from all over America. They also took a great
approach to the simple but it says it idea. If you didn’t know any better you
were playing the Cleveland Browns in these uni’s.
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Downers Grove South 2009:
Powder blue for the ladies of the school.
Last but not least in this blog about the top player hatin,
lady lovin uniforms in sports has to be my junior year of high schools
uniforms. We wore navy blue helmets with powder blue mustangs on our heads with
white pants that had a light blue stripe and a powder blue jersey.
Intimidating? Shoot yes we were. We also scored more of the females than all
the other teams in the school. With a 9-3 record going all the way to the state
quarters and only missing the semi’s by 4 points 7-3. We had Downers Grove
lovin and all the other towns player hating. Lets be real for 5 minutes any
average Joe could win in a blue or white jersey but what team could win in
powder blues AND look good doing it? Ill answer that question for you young
reader. Us. That’s who.
I hope you enjoyed this blog! It took me a long time to
write.
Have a great day and remember an apple a day keeps the
doctor away ;D
L8r Sk8r.
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